Crush of the Week, Part 2
I was all ready to write about how Jason Schwarztman is my crush this week. I’ve liked him since Rushmore, and that movie where he played the guy who had a crush on a girl and he makes a doll out of strands of her hair that he finds, which I never saw but they played the trailer before The Royal Tenenbaums and after the movie was over, as I walked out of the theater and couldn’t stop laughing, my then-boyfriend said, “What? Which part? What are you laughing about?” and I had to confess that I was doubled over laughing my stupid head off over the line, “It fell out of your hair like that!” from the trailer. I saw I Heart Huckabees last weekend and rekindled that little flame. So, yeah, I was all set to write about Jason Schwarztman.
But then, I went to hear my friend Max’s band play last night (they were awesome, by the way) and spent most of the evening chatting it up with the boys from the opening band. So now my Crush of the Week honor has to go to Jake the bassist. (I told you I had a thing for bass players.)
He’s a bit too young for me, and when he asked me how old I am and I responded “Twenty nine and a half,” he explained that that’s OK because even though he’s 25, it’s more like he’s 14. And when he’s 60, it’ll be more like he’s 29. I’m not sure if he was trying to woo me with this line of reasoning. It doesn’t really matter because by that point, I was hooked. He had me at, “I play bass.”
Lest you think I’m just some starfucker whose sole criteria is which instrument a boy plays, I’ll have you know that Bass, I mean Jake, is witty and funny and does a really good George Costanza impression. And he grew up in Portland, not Lake Oswego. So there.