A week or so ago, I visited the doctor for a routine exam. A few days later, I got a call from my doctor’s assistant telling me that I was to start antibiotics immediately. Turns out, they were pretty sure I had a malady I’m completely sure I didn’t have. She described the symptoms, I told her I didn’t have them. She described the ways in which you come upon this particular ailment, none of which I participate in. But, because I don’t really want to risk it when it comes to my health, I went to the Kaiser pharmacy (which could double for a DMV, I’m not even kidding), picked up my $11 antibiotics, got instructions about how I was to abstain from both sex and alcohol for the next 10 days, and took my first monster pill when I got home.

Now, you’d think that being sober and a born-again virgin for more than a week would be enough to make me grumpy. And trust me, it was. But what really sucks are all the other “possible” side effects of this particular drug that I got to enjoy. When you hear, “Possible side effects may include: headache, upset stomach, loss of appetite, irritability, vertigo, light headedness, fatigue, metallic taste on tongue…” you think, “Yeah, maybe I’ll have one of those for a few hours.”

I had ALL of them, big time. I’ve never been hit like that with side effects. I felt like I was fighting the flu all weekend, cutting short my trip with GTB to register at Macy’s so I could go home and sleep on Sunday afternoon. Yesterday morning, after sleeping 9 hours each weekend night and taking naps both days, I wearily got up like it was a normal Monday morning. When I almost passed out in the shower, twice, I called in sick. Then I called my doctor. The advising nurse told me I was experiencing completely normal side effects and that I should just “ride it out for the next few days.” Fortunately, my last dose was also yesterday morning. I took it, went back to bed for a couple more hours, spent the day on the couch, and was sure I’d feel better today.

So far, not so good. I don’t feel as bad, but I’m certainly not 100%. Though I did my best to work from home Friday afternoon and yesterday, I’m a little behind. And even though all I want to do is sleep, the waking thought of one more day looking for something to watch on TV while I concentrate on not yacking was enough to motivate me to actually do my hair.

Which is all just a long way of saying, sorry I haven’t been posting regularly. Once I’m out of this fog and caught up at work, regular updates will resume.

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