Boo Fing Hoo
Today is July 8, which means we are T minus two months from Signe’s due date. And it can’t come a moment too soon. As I become deeper entrenched in my third trimester, I embark on a daily discovery of fun, new pregnancy symptoms. Such as:
-Leg cramps. I’d never had these before, but since Sunday, I’ve now had two. Both times, it happened really early in the morning, say about 4:30 or so, and it sent me shooting out of bed crying “Ow! Ow! Ow!” in rapid succession. Fortunately, having read about leg cramps in some of my pregnancy books, I knew that the best way to deal with them is to stand on the cramped leg and walk around. Otherwise, I probably would have shaken GTB awake to punch me in the calf until it stops hurting.
-Constantly sore hips. I hear this is from all the relaxin that is working to help my hips and pelvic bone spread in order to let the baby through there. Honestly, I’m not sure how much wider my hips needed to be, but whaddayagonnado?
-Restless leg syndrome. Say what you will about the legitimacy of this ailment, I know for a fact that it’s real. Between this and the cramps, I surmise that my legs are rebelling against all the extra weight they are carrying. I don’t blame them; I’d be pissed too. But you’d think that when I finally lie down with the idea of giving them some rest, they’d calm the F down and cooperate. But nooooooooo!
-Fatigue. I got home from work yesterday, sat on the bed to pet Niles, and next thing I know, I’m waking up from a 30-minute nap. Don’t get me wrong; it felt great. But I’m usually in better control of my sleep patterns.
-Air-headedness. Last night, before we left for our birthing class, I was so intent on remembering my pillow and the bag of information they require us to bring to every class, I completely forgot my purse. So much for paying for dinner. Or, you know, driving with a license. This is just one of several examples.
-Stress. How in the world am I going to get it all done in two months?! Work projects, Signe’s room, setting up the will, finding a pediatrician, figuring out finances for my time off… I’m not sure I have time for friends’ and cousins’ weddings, baby showers, or any of the other fun stuff I actually want to do. And it’s FREAKING ME OUT!
-Backache. A few weeks ago, in our birthing class, our instructor taught us ways our partners can help with back pain. GTB tried a few things, but I felt nothing, because, quite simply, my back didn’t hurt. As everyone in the class oohed and aahhed in relief around us, I felt smug because obviously I’m in such good shape my back doesn’t hurt. Three weeks later though, here I am, grumbling about it.
-Swollen feet. I know I bitched about this before, but really, I had no idea what I was talking about back then. There are times, usually at the end of a hot day, that I don’t even recognize my own feet. Where did the bones go? Whose fat, pink, piggies are those? What’s worse though is when they are swollen in the morning and I can’t find a pair of shoes that fit. I only have two or three pairs that will even go over my inflated dogs, and two of them are flip flops. That’s fine on the weekend, but it’s not very professional for the work day.
There’s more, but I should stop with the whining. I know Signe will be worth it, and I know mommy amnesia will kick in at some point and I’ll forget all about the crap it took to get her here. But there are times when I think “Hmm, maybe I do want two kids.” And when I’m having that insane thought, I want to be able to come back here and be reminded of how fat my feet really are and how much it sucks to feel like I’ve been riding a horse for six weeks straight.