An Update
I’m sorry for the lack of posts over the past couple of weeks. I’ve been kinda busy, what with the constant feedings (breastfeeding is much harder than I thought it would be), crying jags (stupid hormones), and hours-long stretches where we just stare at her and marvel at how cute she is. But I did want to post an update on how things are going.
First of all, I’m overwhelmed, in just about every way possible. I’m overwhelmed by the sheer wonder of her, by the lack of sleep, by the feelings of responsibility I suddenly feel. But mostly, I’m overwhelmed at the beautiful but excrutiating sense that I’ve just signed myself up for a lifetime of constant worry, fear, anxiety, and knowledge that I’ve never been in love like this before.
Don’t get me wrong, I love GTB as much as I love Signe, but it’s different. The primary difference is that it took some time to love GTB this much. I didn’t fall as completely, instantly in love with him as I have with her. It’s actually a little painful, and it makes me weep on a daily basis.
It’s easy to be in love when your baby is a really good baby. Signe rarely cries, and mostly just wants to eat and sleep. She does have stretches where she’s awake for a few hours at a time, and we’re not totally sure what to do with her then. But she’s good natured and patient with us as we figure it out.
She’s also a phenomenal pooper. I guess it’s really normal, but I’ve never heard a baby poop with the force and decibel level this kid does. There is never a wonder over whether her diaper is dirty. Her explosively audible BMs announce their presence with authority. I was expecting to be elbow deep in poop, but who knew something so cute could be so vulgar?
Despite her love of sleep, GTB and I are both a little sleep deprived. She’ll sleep for 3-4 hours at a time, but it often takes two hours to nurse her and then get her back to sleep. By the time I’ve peed and fallen asleep again, she’s been sleeping for an hour and I’m only another hour or two away from her next feeding. This is not new information to anyone who’s lived with a newborn before, I’m sure. And my 20-minute power napping ability does nothing to combat the constant sleepiness. It takes a good two hour nap each afternoon to feel human again.
What else? Niles is taking it all in stride. He does seem to notice she’s here and that he’s not getting as much attention, but so far he hasn’t pooped on my pillow or anything. He gets a little pissy if I’m late with his morning feeding, which I often am.
That’s about all the update I have the energy for right now. I’ll post more, along with pictures, at a later date.
And please forgive any typos or run on sentences.