I’ve been purposefully not making any mention of Paris Hilton’s DUI. Kinda because I don’t care, but mostly because it’s going to do nothing to expedite her departure from the spotlight. If the bitch is more popular after homemade porn showed her giving a lackluster blow job, a one-margarita drunken driving arrest isn’t going to hurt her either. Unfortunately.

That said, some good has come of the whole DUI ordeal. And that good is this little nugget I found in the middle of an article about how hurt she is that everyone is making a big deal out of nothing (poor thing):

“According to a national research study, a 137-pound woman would need to consume three drinks in one hour on an empty stomach to reach a .08 blood-alcohol level.”

Do you know how often I have an empty stomach? NEVER. Never is the answer. Do you know how often I drink three drinks in one hour. The answer to that one is REGULARLY. So if I weigh approximately that amount (or maybe a little more–hey, I’m dieting, ok?), and my stomach is full or something close to it, I’m safe having three drinks in one hour?

SAH-WEET!

Thanks, Paris. For once, your gargantuan idiocy has done someone some good.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 8th, 2006 at 9:56 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.