Have you ever been to a baby shower and played that game where you can’t say “cute”? You start with a number of clothespins, and if someone catches you saying the word “cute” they get one of your clothespins. She with the most clothespins at the end of the game wins, of course. You usually play it when the expectant mother is opening her presents. Box after box of adorable, sweet, precious, itsy bitsy, charming presents are unwrapped. It takes all the concentration you can muster not to shout out, “Oh my god, that is so CUTE!” I never win this game.

My sister, being the funny girl she is, and, I suppose, embracing her hick roots even more fervently than I, says that at her baby shower (no, she’s not pregnant) “cute” won’t be the forbidden word. When we’re celebrating the fact that she got knocked up, we will be penalized for saying “God damn, Billy Bob!”

I don’t know why I just thought of that.

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